REUPHOLSTERED SONGS - COVER SONGS IN SIX CATEGORIES
I love covers songs. Songs that were “covered” by people who didn’t write or originally perform the best-known version of the song. Tribute bands, and lounge acts, for instance, are also called “cover bands.”
This is a collection of songs that were covered, reinvented, or “reupholstered” by a group who felt compelled to do so, for whatever reason. It occurred to me, a long time ago, that there are SIX BASIC KINDS of cover versions. So, I’ve divided songs into the following SIX genres; songs that have been reupholstered by making one of the following six adjustments to the best-known version.
Reupholstered Songs:
Instrumentation (Drastic changes in instruments—swapping kazoos for electric guitars for example)
Slowed-Down Covers (Songs made different from the original by slowing the song down)
Sped-Up Covers (Covers made different from the original by speeding the song up!)
Ironic Covers (Covers where I suspect the band is trying to be funny/ironic in their choice of material)
Twee Covers (Covers done twee; using children’s choirs, toy instruments—overly cute & sweet!)
Same Cloth (Covers in which the band, or the version, are cut from the same cloth as the original!)
A seventh might by Stylistic Reupholstery, but that’s… um… “covered.” A jazz version of a rock song, or a folk rock approach to a heavy metal song, will usually also fall under one of the five headings above. Part of my goal—as always—is to include as many styles of music as possible with each volume.
I posted these, and my reupholstery manifesto online a long time ago, but here they are preserved for posterity and paving the way for me to revisit the series—which is well underway!
The order of the songs is intentional. Each collection is designed to be (burned onto a CD and) listened to in the order they’ve been presented. You are, of course, free to do as you wish.
Just as songs and furniture get revamped--so do jokes.
ReplyDeleteDownloaders are asked to share their favorite reupholstered JOKE.
Here’s mine, a reworked version of WHO’S ON FIRST updated for “the text message age”.
It was originally a blonde asking a brunette, but I’ve changed it to Abbott & Costello to be more politically correct.
Costello: "What does IDK stand for?"
Abbott: "I don’t know."
Costello: "NObody does!"
Reupholstered Songs Instrumentation Vol. 1:
https://pixeldrain.com/u/UYFYrP1a
Reupholstered Songs Slowed Down Vol. 1:
https://pixeldrain.com/u/dKqRMvak
Reupholstered Songs Sped Up Vol. 1:
https://pixeldrain.com/u/B2UQ9ZiE
Thanks for these!!
Deletedjmcblues2
Here's a reupholstered joke. (The answer used to be "a penguin in a blender", but I changed it to comply with the 2025 version of political correctness.)
DeleteQ: "What's black and white and red all over?"
A: "FAKE NEWS!"
Well done!
DeleteWhy did the chicken cross the road? To actualise its potential.
ReplyDeleteActually, the possibility of “crossing” was encoded into the objects “chicken” & “road”, then circumstances came into being which caused the actualisation of this potential occurrence.
DeleteThat's deep, Jewels. 20,000 leagues deep.
DeleteLove it Joey! And that's hilarious, Jewels!
DeleteInteresting that you mention Kazoos, a most hated instrument by the One Buck Guy for it's use by folkies trying to be funny.
ReplyDeleteSo there's an unofficial rule on One Buck Records: No Fuckin' Kazoos!
But I digress.
A re-upholstered joke...? Can't go wrong with a classic, then.
"Excuse me, good sir, is that a kazoo in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
"Say, is that a kazoo marching band?" "Yes, I gave them ten bucks to march over to OBG's house!"
DeleteI'm with you on kazoos, OBG! Except for THE TEMPLE CITY KAZOO ORCHESTRA. For some reason when you OVERDO it, it gets cool again.
DeleteI'm not a big fan of tattoos, but when a person has sleeves, I'm all for it!
When I think about reupholstering, I think about how something would be thrown in the skip if it wasn't reupholstered. Songs like Ramona, Blueberry Hill. In the sixties With a little help from my friends...hola, that was after Vanilla Fudge found a new style of reupholstering. Reggae is a very nice style to redo songs (Everything I Own was a bigger hit as a cover than the original) Every country has their joking around when it comes to covers Cocaine In My Brain has a lot of different variations. Todd Rundgren redid a Dutch Classic Flappie
ReplyDeleteIn 1980 Roland Kaiser had a Schlager, een knaller, a hit with Santa Maria a fine reworking of Oliver Onions italian original, and The Fools redid Psycho Chicken, The Champs - Rawhide/Ghostriders. The Residents have gold stars for their George Gershwin, Hank Williams, James Brown, JP de Sousa.
Total reworks from the highest order got to be Bertrand Turetzky of Mingus' Classic Goodbye Porkpie Hat and Alvin Lucier - Nothing Is Real (Strawberry Fields Forever)
Another genre of covers is the de-construstion, but only named so for lack of a better name. Jad Fair is the prince of that, oh, yes, Have you ever heard the Jimi Hendrix rendition of the American National Anthem, Hendrix knew how to cover a song.
A good song can become a new genre of music. Take a simple song like My Favorite Things and hear how John Coltrane flies away with it, it might cure you from Miles Davis - Someday My Prince Will Come, or Chet Baker - My Funny Valentine.
The harsh world of reupholstering. Do I take this 19th century chair, strip it, paint it black, and give it a plastic seat or what is saleable now?
When it comes to music some songs are really killed off by the reupholsterer (Swans - Love Will Tear Us Apart or Michael Andrews Featuring Gary Jules - Mad World) Give me The Dickies any day
Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Richard. Covers are funny things. I used to make cassettes with "The World's Greatest Covers" on one side and "The World's Worst Covers" on the other. Anyone who got a copy generally weighed in that one or two of the cuts were on the WRONG side!
DeleteAfterwards I gave it more thought. I am ripping the (almost) complete output of Johnny G. When I saw him (ten times0 in the eighties he had a string of covers amongst the majority of own material. That is where my opinion of cobers comes from. It is nice to have covers in your set. Especially when you work a small venue. Because it really doesn't matter and we all should just have a good time. Recently I have seen artists playing covers of artists of countries they are in. Hey Belgium, here is a Belgian song. It is wrong. Every selfrespecting artist has done covers (can you imagine Elvis without covers? No, he was a performer, not a songwriter) A lot have done them, even if they did not have a writers block.
DeleteWhat is a cover? Does it need to have the same text. Is My Way a cover of Comme D'Habitude? Ther City Of New Orleans has been remade in French before it was redone in Dutch where it became a song about a long summer. I think Yes. When you cover a song you can change the arrangement, change instruments, change text. In that way The Banjo Song was a cover of an older song before it was the inspiration of Venus by Shocking Blue, and that was covered anothe thousand times. And that is another thing, when is it a cover, and when is it an inspiration....
Going back to What Is A Cover? National Anthems. The German national anthem uses a piece of the Austrian composer Haydn, the English (technically it is not a national anthem) borrowed from the French Jean Baptiste Lully to make God Save The King/Queen (whatever the current flavor is) and the US of A took an English wine song, plonked a text about a flag on top and made it their own.
Covers go deep. Mozart composed with the aid of everything he heard. With him originality became just what you made from the raw materials.
Reupholdstered jokes
ReplyDeleteNetanyahu, Putin and Trump are on a plane
Netanyahu throws out a hundred dollar bill, saying See I make someone happy
Putin throws out two fifty dollar bills and says I make two people happy
Trump throws out ten tenners and says I make ten people happy
The pilot takes a nosedive and when the three shout What are you doing
He shouts I make everybody happ(ccccrrrrrraaaaaasssssshhhhh)
An even better plan than sending CEO's to Mars!
DeleteWonderfully done, Richard!
DeleteSeen in public restroom: "Jesus Saves", added beneath: "Rodman scores on the rebound".
ReplyDeleteNice update from the old punchline ("Jesus Saves -- all others pay cash")! But you might need to trade Rodman for LeBron or Giannis...
DeleteA lesbian, a transvestite, and a homosexual enter a bar. The bar tender looks at them and says: "This is a joke, right?!"
ReplyDeleteThe older version used an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman...
Nicely done, Koen,. "...walk into a bar" has been endlessly reupholstered! :)
Deleteand that reminds me of... A Priest, an Imam and a Rabbit walk into a bar and the rabbit says "I think I might be a typo."
ReplyDeletethese are mostly for the killdozer
COVERS1
https://pixeldrain.com/u/fNYEN157
KILLLDOZERRR! Proud sons of America's Dairyland! Thankzzz!
DeleteBucephalus, I love Killdozer's version of One Tin Soldier--but it helps if you ALREADY love the song.
DeleteReupholstered a joke this morning
ReplyDeleteThe original is on De Gulle Lach (The generous laughter) by Wim Sonneveld.
Early this morning, 9 o'clock or so, I went to the supermarket, also taking away some glass for the glass recycler bin. When I was done, a young asian daddy and his son of three/four started throwing their bottles. The daddy said here, this clear one to the left, and here, this green one to the right. As they were busy, another man came from behind. I said with a bit too loud voice to the daddy: Yes, yes, learned young. The daddy looked up and smiled. I continued: for a child labourer.
The man behind raised his voice, that you cannot say these things. An outrage. Was I almost fighting in the Ferdinand Bol Street....The asian daddy could not say anything from laughter.
This is a reupholstering from the guy I saw upon a ladder. Two stories high, busy, and did not seem to go that well. I shouted: You are doing it wrong. He shouted back: What? Again I: You are doing it wrong. He looked up and down and came off the ladder. What? What do you mean? I said You are doing it wrong, you should have another do that......9 o'clock in the morning, was I almost in fights in the Ferdinand Bol. And that is what I ask you; Where is That Generous Laughter, The Joke, The Witz?